Return of the Crack Fox

So, the Crack Fox, not to be confused with Keith Lemons Urban Fox, turned up today in my garden. I hate him. He gives me nightmares, acting all ‘street’ and ‘gangstery’ strutting his stuff in my back garden. I spy on him from the window and he just stands there, completely still, staring at me, all ‘wot you lookin at…d’ya want some? Come on then!’ (he’s well ‘ard, he’s got half a tail, which I can only assume he lost in gang fight, I dread to think what happened to his rival) I do realise, of course, that he can’t actually speak, but I know he’s thinking this and I know that if I open the door to chase him away he won’t move, I’ve tried it before, he will pull a knife from somewhere and run at me. I know it. 

He leaves poo in the middle of the lawn, he punctures our paddling pools with his raggedy yellow teeth, he steals shoes and leaves them chewed up in the garden, then he watches me from a bush to make sure he sees my reaction when I find them! 

He terrorizes the neighborhood and I’m sure the other foxes hate him as much as I do. I see him bossing them about, telling them which shoes to steal, ‘get the little ‘uns new ones, they paid ÂŁ60 for those innit’. He paces round the garden occasionally looking up to check I’m watching then he scratches all his fleas out or bites his bum for a bit, the way flea ridden animals do, the itchy, scratchy, drug dealing, little shite. 

Today is the day.

Revenge will be mine.

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Mexican Chicken Salad

 

Beardy’s new favourite. I didn’t think this would go down too well with the kids but I do love giving them new things to try, so did it anyway!

Neither of them have found their spice tastebuds yet, if it’s got even a hint of spice to it, they’ll find it. They don’t like dressing on their salad, pepper on anything, Mayo, mustard, anything like that, but like all kids will happily smother tomato ketchup over EVERYTHING! So….I was totally expecting a meltdown when they saw Mexican salad on the menu…..

Ingredients

  • 2 chicken breasts
  • Cajun seasoning
  • Salad leaves
  • 1/4 Cucumber
  • 8 Baby tomatoes
  • 4 Spring onions
  • 1/2 small tin of Sweetcorn
  • 1 Avocado
  • Cheddar – grated
  • Bag of Nachos
  • Ranch or Caesar dressing
  • Black pepper

Method

  • Coat the chicken in the Cajun seasoning and pop on a baking tray into the oven on 160 for 20-25 mins
  • Meanwhile get a big bowl and chuck all the salad leaves into it
  • Chop the cucumber and avocado into small chunks, tomatoes in halves and slice the onions. Put them, along with half the tin of sweetcorn, into the bowl with the leaves.
  • When the chicken is done slice into strips or chunks and put into the salad bowl along with 2 handfuls of grated cheese.
  • Drizzle your dressing over, just enough to coat the salad, and toss well.
  • Scrunch up 3 handfuls of nachos in your hands and sprinkle into the mix with a couple of grinds of black pepper. Toss again and serve.

YUMMY!!!

So….I actually went out of the room while the kids ate this (they seem to eat better when I’m not there to moan at)…I hid round by the stairs, pretending I was doing something. 

‘Is this new food?’ Bear shouted, ‘erm…kind of’ I replied….they were quiet..’will we get a monster if we eat it?’ Boo shouted, (they get monsters on their reward chart for eating new food), ‘yes!’ I shouted back (with my hand cupped round my mouth, giving the false impression I was further away than I really was, (cunning!)) unbeknown to them I was actually right by the door, spying on them! I went and sat down in the den for a few minutes. I felt weird, they’d been eating for 10 minutes and no complaining. I was confused and felt like I was in someone else’s house. 

Another 5 minutes passed in silence so I walked back into the kitchen. 

THEY HAD FINISHED THE WHOLE LOT! BOTH OF THEM! PLATES CLEAN! Sorry for the shouting but reliving this moment is very exciting for me!!! 

So, then came the marks out of 10.

Bear – 9!

Boo – 25! 

Beardy – “this can definitely go on the menu every week!”

Woop! A hit all round…..and no ketchup in sight. 🙂

Dear Weather, F*** off! (Sorry Mum)

The weather definitely has some kind of personal vendetta against us; it’s almost like it says ‘hey, the Lebbells are going on holiday soon – save up all your wet and cold so we can bombard them with it during their holidays – that’ll teach them!’ For what, I have no idea​, but we have obviously done something to upset it at some point. It happens every year – gale force winds in Egypt, torrential rain in France, a 3 day break in cloudy Majorca! FFS. We are planning to go on Friday, just down to the coast, it’s been so lovely here lately, highs hitting the 30’s during the last few weeks!!! We come back next Wednesday…..And no, it’s not just one weather report!!!!! Check it out – This is definitely war!!!……And not even close to being funny!!!

  

Favourite Storybooks for Kids

Some new additions….

BeardyBearandBoo

The Giving Tree

I love reading stories to the kids, not necessarily always at bedtime, but there are some truly wonderful books out there which always make me smile, no matter how many times I read them. The obvious choices, such as Julia Donaldson, what a complete genius she is, always go down well in our house (my kids are 6 and 4) but there are also others which I never tire of reading and equally the children love. This page is dedicated to just that. If you do choose to read them, I hope you enjoy them as much as we do!

If you have any suggestions yourself, please do share and I’ll add them to the list, no book is a bad book!

  • The Giving Tree – Shel Silverstein
  • Penguin – Polly Dunbar
  • The Adventures of Bert – Allan Ahlberg & Raymond Briggs
  • Trouble at the Dinosaur Cafe – Brian Moses…

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Fashion tips from a 4 year old

Everyone has their own style, I like to think I dress ok. Sometimes I might be a little quirky but I don’t think that’s a bad thing and I like that I’m a bit different. I don’t like being told what to wear by a 4 year old.

Boo is 4. She is what I would call a girly girl, I have no idea why, she certainly doesn’t get it from me so must be Daddy’s genes (hmmm, not sure that’s a good thing). She changes about 4 times a day, she pretends she’s on a catwalk and walks around the house posing, pouting, looking in mirrors a lot and speaking in an accent (normally American). When we watched Britains Got Talent and I asked her what her talent would be she said ‘posing!’. She’s not wrong.

She’s given me a few tips over the last year or so….

Boo’s Fashion Tips:

Do not wear DM’s with a dress; ‘you don’t look like a lady Mummy, you look like you’re going shopping in the mud!’. Lovely. Did I mention she’s 4?!

Jesus Creepers are not a good look; ‘Your sandals look like a Grandad should be wearing them’. Nice. Thanks for that.

Long hair is a must; ‘When are you going to grow your hair long again, long hair makes you look like a real girl’ ….(erm well, I thought I was a ‘real’ girl)

Killer heels when grocery shopping, why not?; ‘Why don’t you wear these Mummy’ she says pulling out my glittery gold sandals with 4 inch heels, ‘because we’re going food shopping Boo Boo – my feet will hurt’, ‘can I wear them then?’ ‘erm..no, you’re 4!’.

Tone up; ‘Why does your tummy wobble so much?’ ‘because you ruined it when you came out of it darling’, ‘oh. sorry Mummy’. 🙂

Don’t you just love ’em.

 

 

Chorizo and Broad Bean Risotto

chorizo risotto

Mmmmmmmm…..this is possibly the yummiest thing I have ever cooked in my entire life!

I cooked enough for 2 but Beardy was out so I kept going back to get more until there was only one bean left, then I felt sorry for it and ate that too! Ummmm, I know, naughty me, but I couldn’t help it – it called to me, and it’s rude to ignore. I didn’t even feel guilty, I would have done if I’d left it there all alone with no-one to talk to though, so I figure I did the right thing.

Ingredients

  • 1 cup Arborio Rice
  • 1/2 – 3/4 ltr Chicken Stock
  • 1/2 White Onion (finely chopped)
  • 1 clove of Garlic (crushed)
  • Large handful of grated Parmesan
  • Half a Chorizo Sausage (halved and sliced)
  • 1 cup frozen Broad Beans
  • 1 tbsp Double Cream
  • Salt and Pepper
  • Knob of butter

Method

  • Melt the knob of butter in a saucepan big enough to hold the whole risotto and chuck in the onion, garlic and rice and stir until the rice looks a bit translucent.
  • Pour in the Chicken stock ladle by ladle and intermittently stir vigorously until you’ve used about half of it. The rice should soak up all the stock and you should have a creamy pudding rice consistency.
  • Put in half the Parmesan and all the Chorizo and continue to add in the stock, stirring the whole time.
  • After about 10 minutes of stirring add in the remainder of the stock along with the Broad Beans and remainder of Parmesan and cover to simmer for a few minutes, checking the whole time to make sure the rice doesn’t stick. If it does, just add a bit more boiling water.
  • When the rice is done, pour in the Double Cream and allow to heat through, adding Salt and Pepper to taste (I like lots of Pepper!)
  • Sprinkle with a dusting of Parmesan, if you fancy…and I do.
  • All done.

This should take about 20-25 minutes to cook in total and although is not particularly healthy, is SUPER YUM!