How can anyone get cheese on toast wrong, it’s got to be the most simple thing in the world to make, right?

Well, the other day, I was really looking forward to some cheese on toast! Let it be known that I love cheese more than life itself; the thought of eating cheese on toast actually makes me dribble a little bit; anyway…I made, what can only be described as, the worst choice EVER, by trying to counteract my cheesy naughtiness with………….granary bread! I know, what was I thinking?! It was the worst cheese on toast I’ve ever had in my entire life. 

I felt completely deflated and downright miserable, (I might have even cried a bit) not to mention really guilty about the fact the cheese was probably pretty excited at being taken out of the fridge to lie on a slice of thick white bread; if Cheese had hands it would have been rubbing them with glee and slapping on the Worcester sauce whilst humming a chirpy tune before lying under the heat of the grill….imagine it’s dismay on seeing the granary (WTF?) I can almost hear the scratchy sound of a needle being dragged across a record ruining Cheese’s happy thoughts. Poor Cheese. 

I am not dissing granary bread as a stand alone product I might add, I’m not a bully I wouldn’t exclude anyone/thing like that, I like marmite on granary toast and prawn Mayo sandwiches on granary – it has its uses. Cheese on toast is not one of them though.

To Cheese: I am so sorry! Please forgive me. I promise NEVER to do it again. I love you.

To People: do not try this at home.

No-ones feelings were hurt in the making of this blog post.